moving.

http://rlowry.tumblr.com/

It's not the end.

Isaiah 59:1-4 "Surely the arm of the Lord is not too short to save, nor his ear to dull to hear. But your iniquities have separated you from God; your sins have hidden his face from you, so that he will not hear. For your hands are stained with blood, your fingers with guilt. Your lips have spoken lies, and your tongue mutters wicked things. No one calls for justice; no one pleads his case with integrity. They rely on empty arguments and speak lies; the conceive trouble and give birth to evil."

• Well that sounds like a rough state to be in... but I was there. Everyone has been there, many people still are. Thankfully God's words don't end there, he doesn't leave us to ourselves.

2 Samuel 22:17-20 "He reached down from on high and took hold of me; he drew me out of deep waters. He rescued me from my powerful enemy, from my foes, who were too strong for me. They confronted me in the day of my disaster, but the Lord was my support. He brought me into a spacious place; he rescued me because he delighted in me."

• Christ's sacrifice redeems us. Our horrible state, our deadness, is cleansed because of him. Think about that for a minute.

Isaiah 43:1-4a "This is what the Lord says - he who created you, he who formed you; "Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze. For I am the Lord, your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior; I gave Egypt for your ransom, Cush and Seba in your stead. Since you are precious and honored in my sight, and because I love you..."

• This is not a promise for a smooth ride from here on out. Though He is telling the complete truth when he says he will always be with us, we must be reminded that we have been saved for eternity. It is not in this life that we will fully see or understand the extent of what we have in Christ and the reward He is.

Well... I've been back in the states for over 24 hours now. Strange. The last 2 days have been some of the longest days of my life. Long days of goodbyes/see you laters... not really enjoyable. This summer I saw God in more ways than I could have dreamed. Glad he doesn't fit in any box anyone could ever try to put him in.

Things will not be the same. I am not the same. God is great... and is challenging me in so many ways.

I miss the kids and my friends so much it hurts, but God has given me an excitement about this coming semester that I have been praying for. God is God in Romania and in South Carolina. Romanians and Americans need Jesus - and that is something I can't ignore.

Mulţumesc foarte mult for your prayers and for your love.

Please don't stop as I continue to adjust back to the states and live my life "worthy of the gospel."

Please continue to pray for the kids of LOC, and the Romanian staff, and Rebecca - the American on staff there. I promise your prayers will be felt.

This will probably be the last blog I post on here because I am moving to another website, follow me at www.rlowry.tumblr.com

Camps are over. 7 weeks have flown by. 7 weeks full of laughter, tears, jumping, smiles, screaming, making sandwiches, singing, hugging, dancing, coloring, learning, cleaning, relay games, pulling kids around by hula hoops, attempting to play futbol, minor injuries, morning exercises, messy games, and so much more than a list could ever explain.

This last week of camp was a fun one, because I've known a lot of the kids for years. My group was six 15-19 year old boys. God continues to amaze me - even though they probably thought I was crazy at times... they were competitive in the games while staying good sports, sang the songs, sat through the silly skits and the more serious talks, and were respectful during team time when leaders gave their testimonies. I love them so much even though I can't pick them up in my arms and hug them... though they did try to do that to me a few times.

Below is a picture from the mountains we hiked in Brasov yesterday. We (the interns and 2 staff members) were able to get away for an overnight end-of-the-summer trip. As I was looking out at the mountains, the only word that came to my mind was majesty. Seriously, God's creation is majestic... and that word doesn't even begin to cover it.

This is a short post... I suppose more will come once I'm back in the states. This year it is much, much, much harder to leave than last... and some reasons are obvious to me, and others I can't seem to figure out. Thank you all for your prayers throughout the past 3 months and please don't stop yet! The other interns and I fly out in less than 24 hours, 6 am on Wednesday morning RO time... so 11pm Tuesday night South Carolina time. In less than an hour we will be spending our last time of the summer with the LOC kids... pray for us, please pray for them.

When it is/will be very easy for me to seemingly isolate myself or be cynical as I leave friends and a place I love, this is my prayer: Psalm 9:1-2, "I will praise you, O Lord, with all of my heart, I will tell of your wonders. I will be glad and rejoice in you, I will sing praise to your name; O most high."

It has been a fantastic summer. God is good, no matter what. He has a plan. His plan is good. He has a plan for me as his child. His plan for me is good.

Holding on to that right now.

A couple of the sweetest moments ever.

Who am I?

That the Lord of all the earth,

Would care to know my name,

Would care to feel my hurt.

Who am I?

That the bright and morning star,

Would choose to light the way,

For my ever wandering heart.

Not because of who I am,

But because of what you've done.

Not because of what I've done,

But because of who you are.

I am a flower quickly fading,

Here today and gone tomorrow,

A wave tossed in the ocean,

A vapor in the wind.

Still you hear me when I'm calling,

Lord, you catch me when I'm falling,

And you've told me who I am.

I am yours.

I am yours.

Who am I?

That the eyes that see my sin

Would look on me with love

And watch me rise again.

Who am I?

That the voice that calmed the sea,

Would call out through the rain,

And calm the storm in me.

Quick stories:

*Sergiu lives in the LOC houses. This past Tuesday his eyes were really opened and he trusted Christ and prayed for forgiveness - he had been asking questions for a while but that day just seemed to be the day. It was a special time as he talked to Julia, another intern, and prayed on his own. God is SO good!

*On Friday night we went to a Christian concert with a lot of the volunteers from camp and some of the LOC kids. Sergiu told me I had to sit next to him, haha, so I did. The service was like being back in the States, it was weird! In a good way though. Praising the Lord in Romanian - never a bad thing! One thing they did do was in English though - there was a pantomime to the song "Who Am I?" (lyrics above) and by the end I was in tears. The presentation was good - but last night the words hit me hard, and so did Sergiu singing every word of it in English right into my ear. I'm in love with these kids and desperately long to see them praise God. What a privilege it is to be able to see them year after year and see how they mature and grow.

On another note...

God has shown me something in the past 2 months. I don't deal with being hurt emotionally. I don't deal well or badly - I just don't deal with it. I think wounds, self-inflicted or brought on by someone else, will go away on their own if I "put a little Neosporin and a band-aid on them and move on". Yet it doesn't work like that. Some things have to be addressed. Hurt has to be faced. Fears have to be addressed. I try to run away from the hurt so fast that I can't hear God telling me how he will use it or how I need to rest in Him... not just move on. He has been, and promises to be, faithful. He is good. He never fails. He is for us. When I may have nothing else, He will be enough. He is enough.

I pray I believe that, and live like that.

This is not about me. It's about being a witness of Christ.

Acts 2:22-24. That's enough.

That's fantastic.

Psalm 34:8,18

Taste and see that the Lord is good;
blessed is the one who takes refuge in him.

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted

and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

Do not fear.

Picture this (for those of you that have been at a LOC camp before... this should be easier): 80 ten to nineteen year old gypsy kids, 26 Romanian volunteers, 29 American team members from OK, 8 interns, 4 staff members. In a sala (gym), sweaty, hot, smiling, jumping up and down singing "Fii excelent in ce este bun, fie inocent in rau" or numerous other songs. It was FANTASTIC. That happened every day this past week. Kids and staff together singing praises to God at the top of their lungs. Whether the children knew it or not, they were praising the one and only God of all. This week was exhausting. This week was hot. This week was great.

Please pray for Cristina. She is 11 and lives in Apalina, a gypsy village. I love her. I spent a lot of time with her this past week. She is beautiful, sweet, and in need of a Heavenly Father and Savior.

And a few thoughts brought on by chapter 8 of Radical by David Platt (the book all of the interns are reading and discussing together this summer):

"Do not be afraid of those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather, be afraid of the One who can destroy both soul and body in hell."

Matthew 10:28

Encouraging, huh? Jesus said this to his disciples as he was sending them out in his name to heal the sick, call out demons, and spread the truth. He told them to not be afraid of going to new places, odd places, scary places - because the worst thing that people can do to you is kill you. "So what," Jesus says... dying is gain. Philippians 1:21. God is sovereign.

• Why does is scare me so much to pray for more of God and less of me?
• Do I believe that the Great Reward is not going to be found on earth?
• Do I believe that God is more than enough?
• Do I believe that this life is not the point?
• Do I really believe that it is not about me?
• Do I really believe that, once rescued by Jesus Christ, dying for the sake of His name is gain?
• Do you?

As we begin week 6 of camp, please pray for us to be energized, renewed, and passionate about seeing God glorified.

Also, American missionaries Jeff and Jenny McDonnell (and their 2 year old son, Jack) that have been here for 2 years as well as Justin Hendrix, an intern, leave early Wednesday morning to head back to the States. Pray for them all as they adjust and that they will not go back to "life as before," but that they will seek to glorify God even more than before.

Highlight of week 4: a conversation I had with a girl that I have known for years who lives in the LOC houses . We had time to talk away from the rest of the group... and it is a blessing that she speaks English very well so it was okay that I didn't have a translator.

We talked about what has been going on in her life lately and the doubts and struggles she has. Looking back on it, I'm in awe of how I never had to search for words, well, how I had any words at all. It was completely a Spirit-lead conversation. I'm so thankful that I was able to share with her things God has taught me in recent years, things that I consider a privilege to share because it makes me remember the promises and provision of God and his truth.

Truths I needed to be reminded of:

• I serve a God who knows. Jesus came to earth as a servant and experienced pain, sadness, loneliness, humiliation, and criticism, as well as joy, fellowship, and laughter while remaining sinless. In my moments of happiness, excitement, pain, desperation, loneliness, and frustration - He knows. Through our struggles Jesus doesn't say "oh, that must be tough. I'm sorry you feel that way," instead he says "I know. I've been there. I'm here with you. I have a plan bigger than you can imagine." And it is then that I am so humbled, so encouraged in that while he cares about me as an individual, his plan is so much bigger than me. Thank goodness it is so much bigger than me.
• When I don't feel worthy of being loved by God... I remember, I'm not. Or I wasn't. As a redeemed child of God (Ephesians 1) - He has chosen to love me contra-conditionally and that doesn't change. Ever. He won't decide to not love me because I have a rough day.

So far in week 5: On Tuesday a girl who I had in my group last year came and wanted to be on my team. When I saw her, I was really excited... and then my heart basically fell on the ground. Last year, she probably weighed 60 or 70 lbs... now she's fifteen years old and is 4 months pregnant. It's not like I haven't seen teen pregnancy... but that day it broke my heart more than ever. She's a kid herself. By the time she's my age - she will probably have a 5 year old child. Please keep her, Renata, in your prayers. She lives in a gypsy village close to the city where we live here.

Please meditate on this for a few minutes, that's kind of where I have been at the past week. Up and down, but like verse 5 says... when I make myself think about and rest in the thought of what the Lord has done lately and what he has promised he will do, frustrations that don't matter fade away. Not that things become easier, but knowing that God has promised to complete his good work - well, that's the most encouraging thing ever. He is my hope. And I can rest in his promises, even if I don't see some things on this side of eternity.

So far this summer I have:

-danced the electric slide, cotton-eye joe, cupid shuffle, cha-cha slide countless times

-sweated about 49385 gallons of water

-made approximately 2200 sandwiches (along with the other interns)

-sung fantastic praise songs while jumping up and down at least 50 times (not an exaggeration)

-hugged beautiful, sweaty children hundreds of times

-said stati jos, hai, ajutor, liniste, ascultati... a lot

-done ridiculous 80's style morning exercises a few times

-ate way to much chocolate

-shouted my team name one billion times

-burned off all of the chocolate by playing games, dancing, and laughing.

So we are exhausted - and leaning desperately on the Lord everyday for renewal and energy (which is the best anyway.)

Please continue to pray for me, the 7 other interns, the Romanian and American staff, and the kids - your prayers are felt and needed, I promise. Love you all.