A couple of the sweetest moments ever.

Who am I?

That the Lord of all the earth,

Would care to know my name,

Would care to feel my hurt.

Who am I?

That the bright and morning star,

Would choose to light the way,

For my ever wandering heart.

Not because of who I am,

But because of what you've done.

Not because of what I've done,

But because of who you are.

I am a flower quickly fading,

Here today and gone tomorrow,

A wave tossed in the ocean,

A vapor in the wind.

Still you hear me when I'm calling,

Lord, you catch me when I'm falling,

And you've told me who I am.

I am yours.

I am yours.

Who am I?

That the eyes that see my sin

Would look on me with love

And watch me rise again.

Who am I?

That the voice that calmed the sea,

Would call out through the rain,

And calm the storm in me.

Quick stories:

*Sergiu lives in the LOC houses. This past Tuesday his eyes were really opened and he trusted Christ and prayed for forgiveness - he had been asking questions for a while but that day just seemed to be the day. It was a special time as he talked to Julia, another intern, and prayed on his own. God is SO good!

*On Friday night we went to a Christian concert with a lot of the volunteers from camp and some of the LOC kids. Sergiu told me I had to sit next to him, haha, so I did. The service was like being back in the States, it was weird! In a good way though. Praising the Lord in Romanian - never a bad thing! One thing they did do was in English though - there was a pantomime to the song "Who Am I?" (lyrics above) and by the end I was in tears. The presentation was good - but last night the words hit me hard, and so did Sergiu singing every word of it in English right into my ear. I'm in love with these kids and desperately long to see them praise God. What a privilege it is to be able to see them year after year and see how they mature and grow.

On another note...

God has shown me something in the past 2 months. I don't deal with being hurt emotionally. I don't deal well or badly - I just don't deal with it. I think wounds, self-inflicted or brought on by someone else, will go away on their own if I "put a little Neosporin and a band-aid on them and move on". Yet it doesn't work like that. Some things have to be addressed. Hurt has to be faced. Fears have to be addressed. I try to run away from the hurt so fast that I can't hear God telling me how he will use it or how I need to rest in Him... not just move on. He has been, and promises to be, faithful. He is good. He never fails. He is for us. When I may have nothing else, He will be enough. He is enough.

I pray I believe that, and live like that.

This is not about me. It's about being a witness of Christ.

Acts 2:22-24. That's enough.

That's fantastic.

Psalm 34:8,18

Taste and see that the Lord is good;
blessed is the one who takes refuge in him.

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted

and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

Do not fear.

Picture this (for those of you that have been at a LOC camp before... this should be easier): 80 ten to nineteen year old gypsy kids, 26 Romanian volunteers, 29 American team members from OK, 8 interns, 4 staff members. In a sala (gym), sweaty, hot, smiling, jumping up and down singing "Fii excelent in ce este bun, fie inocent in rau" or numerous other songs. It was FANTASTIC. That happened every day this past week. Kids and staff together singing praises to God at the top of their lungs. Whether the children knew it or not, they were praising the one and only God of all. This week was exhausting. This week was hot. This week was great.

Please pray for Cristina. She is 11 and lives in Apalina, a gypsy village. I love her. I spent a lot of time with her this past week. She is beautiful, sweet, and in need of a Heavenly Father and Savior.

And a few thoughts brought on by chapter 8 of Radical by David Platt (the book all of the interns are reading and discussing together this summer):

"Do not be afraid of those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather, be afraid of the One who can destroy both soul and body in hell."

Matthew 10:28

Encouraging, huh? Jesus said this to his disciples as he was sending them out in his name to heal the sick, call out demons, and spread the truth. He told them to not be afraid of going to new places, odd places, scary places - because the worst thing that people can do to you is kill you. "So what," Jesus says... dying is gain. Philippians 1:21. God is sovereign.

• Why does is scare me so much to pray for more of God and less of me?
• Do I believe that the Great Reward is not going to be found on earth?
• Do I believe that God is more than enough?
• Do I believe that this life is not the point?
• Do I really believe that it is not about me?
• Do I really believe that, once rescued by Jesus Christ, dying for the sake of His name is gain?
• Do you?

As we begin week 6 of camp, please pray for us to be energized, renewed, and passionate about seeing God glorified.

Also, American missionaries Jeff and Jenny McDonnell (and their 2 year old son, Jack) that have been here for 2 years as well as Justin Hendrix, an intern, leave early Wednesday morning to head back to the States. Pray for them all as they adjust and that they will not go back to "life as before," but that they will seek to glorify God even more than before.

Highlight of week 4: a conversation I had with a girl that I have known for years who lives in the LOC houses . We had time to talk away from the rest of the group... and it is a blessing that she speaks English very well so it was okay that I didn't have a translator.

We talked about what has been going on in her life lately and the doubts and struggles she has. Looking back on it, I'm in awe of how I never had to search for words, well, how I had any words at all. It was completely a Spirit-lead conversation. I'm so thankful that I was able to share with her things God has taught me in recent years, things that I consider a privilege to share because it makes me remember the promises and provision of God and his truth.

Truths I needed to be reminded of:

• I serve a God who knows. Jesus came to earth as a servant and experienced pain, sadness, loneliness, humiliation, and criticism, as well as joy, fellowship, and laughter while remaining sinless. In my moments of happiness, excitement, pain, desperation, loneliness, and frustration - He knows. Through our struggles Jesus doesn't say "oh, that must be tough. I'm sorry you feel that way," instead he says "I know. I've been there. I'm here with you. I have a plan bigger than you can imagine." And it is then that I am so humbled, so encouraged in that while he cares about me as an individual, his plan is so much bigger than me. Thank goodness it is so much bigger than me.
• When I don't feel worthy of being loved by God... I remember, I'm not. Or I wasn't. As a redeemed child of God (Ephesians 1) - He has chosen to love me contra-conditionally and that doesn't change. Ever. He won't decide to not love me because I have a rough day.

So far in week 5: On Tuesday a girl who I had in my group last year came and wanted to be on my team. When I saw her, I was really excited... and then my heart basically fell on the ground. Last year, she probably weighed 60 or 70 lbs... now she's fifteen years old and is 4 months pregnant. It's not like I haven't seen teen pregnancy... but that day it broke my heart more than ever. She's a kid herself. By the time she's my age - she will probably have a 5 year old child. Please keep her, Renata, in your prayers. She lives in a gypsy village close to the city where we live here.

Please meditate on this for a few minutes, that's kind of where I have been at the past week. Up and down, but like verse 5 says... when I make myself think about and rest in the thought of what the Lord has done lately and what he has promised he will do, frustrations that don't matter fade away. Not that things become easier, but knowing that God has promised to complete his good work - well, that's the most encouraging thing ever. He is my hope. And I can rest in his promises, even if I don't see some things on this side of eternity.

So far this summer I have:

-danced the electric slide, cotton-eye joe, cupid shuffle, cha-cha slide countless times

-sweated about 49385 gallons of water

-made approximately 2200 sandwiches (along with the other interns)

-sung fantastic praise songs while jumping up and down at least 50 times (not an exaggeration)

-hugged beautiful, sweaty children hundreds of times

-said stati jos, hai, ajutor, liniste, ascultati... a lot

-done ridiculous 80's style morning exercises a few times

-ate way to much chocolate

-shouted my team name one billion times

-burned off all of the chocolate by playing games, dancing, and laughing.

So we are exhausted - and leaning desperately on the Lord everyday for renewal and energy (which is the best anyway.)

Please continue to pray for me, the 7 other interns, the Romanian and American staff, and the kids - your prayers are felt and needed, I promise. Love you all.

updates and thoughts.

"Domnul este lumina şi mântuirea mea, de cine să-mă tem? Domnul este rufugiel vietii meli, de cine să-mi fie frică?" Psalm 27:1

"You foolish Galatians! Who has bewitched you? Before your very eyes Jesus Christ was clearly portrayed as crucified. I would like to learn just one thing from you: Did you recieve the Spirit by observing the law, or by believing what you heard? Are you so foolish? After beginning with the Spirit, are you now trying to attain your goal by human effort? Have you suffered so much for nothing - if it really was for nothing? Does God give you his Spirit and work miracles among you because you observe the law, or because you believe what you heard?" Galatians 3:1-5

I can't do anything on my own. Anything. Throughout the last 2 weeks of camp God has been teaching me that. Even if my "goal" is to share his love and be a light... I can't do that in my own strength. Whether the kids are listening, getting in line, and enthusiastic or running wild, cussing, and apathetic - I can't do it on my own. Without the healing and restoration of God, I am broken, hopeless, and cannot serve my Creator.

"Look at the nations and watch - and be utterly amazed. For I am going to do something in your days that you would not believe, even if you were told." Habakkuk 1:5

It is so cool to be able to see how God worked and answered prayers long ago, and know that is the same God we are serve today. His ways are bigger than our brains can comprehend. Pray big prayers. I've been challenged to that as well. I pray that I will believe God and his promises. It's so easy for me to know about his words, but not really believe in the fulfillment of his promises in my life and the lives of others.

This past week of camp was so so so good. We had about 50 kids from the gypsy village of Ogra. God was so clearly at work - it was seriously one of the best weeks of camp ever.... I think so anyway. Nothing huge happened, but the kids were attentive, energetic, fun, and appreciative. The "team" from America was only 2 people - and they were great but it was truly a blessing from the Lord that the kids were so great this week and we didn't have to chase any runners ;)

I had 5 boys and 2 girls on my team this week and it was such a blessing to be able to spend time with them and share the gospel with them - through our actions and through our words.

I love babies. But really... I had the chance to go the baby hospital twice this week. Every time I go my heart aches for so many of the little babies and toddlers who have no one to show them affection, to hold them, to love them, and to tell them that they are special and made by an incredible, complex, and compassionate God. Today with 2 other interns, Rebecca (the staff member) and 5 of the girls that are in Livada's full-time care. It was so enjoyable and it was a reminder of Biblical discipleship. Jesus took his disciples alongside him as he served, helped, and lived... and I feel called to go and love on the babies when I can, so it was cool to be able to share that with the younger girls.

Your prayers are felt, so I beg you to keep praying. Even the "best" days, we are desperate for God's power here. Pray for the kids coming to camp next week, the American team from Ohio that just got here, the other interns and I, our translators and volunteers, and the LOC staff.

I CAN'T BELIEVE WE ARE STARTING WEEK 4.

Te iubesc.

Kids after the slip 'n slide at Camp Vetca on Friday

My team this week (echipa rosu) cheering at recreation