It was just God, the pavement, and me for 45 minutes. I'm starting to love those times more and more. Running outside without an iPod makes for some incredible prayer time. I’m starting to work on being intentional with that “quiet” time I can spend with the Lord! Today as I was running I decided to pray for several of the kids I know in Romania and will probably see again this summer. As I was talking with God about certain kids and praying for them in specific ways, I felt God pushing me… saying, “Rebekah, pray bigger prayers than that. I am GOD, I am mighty to save, and I am sovereign!” It caught me by surprise, I mean I was praying for things like I have seen him do before and was sure he could do again – good things that would bring his name glory! But it wasn’t until I felt the Lord tell me I need to pray bigger that I realized I was praying in a “safe” way. It’s kind of upsetting to realize that I tend to put the Author of my salvation in a box on such a regular basis. I ask for things I know will reveal his power, yet things that I kind of expect him to do anyway. It seems as if I am often too scared to pray in bigger ways... and I don't really know why! I shouldn't be worried if I really do believe God is almighty and all-powerful like I say I do. Thankfully, he is in constant pursuit of me (Psalm 23) and lovingly shows me where I am not trusting him completely or am not believing in his truth.
It is hard to believe that I can honestly say I am a junior in college now. College seemed so far away for years, and now I am halfway done! Where did the last 2 years go?
This past semester flew by and certainly had it's ups and downs. I suppose the biggest thing that I have been seeking the Lord about lately is his goodness. I have always been taught and have known that God knows what is best for me and that his ways are always higher and better (Isaiah 55:8-9). Yet, doubt was creeping in from seemingly every direction this semester making me wonder... yeah he knows what is best but does the Lord actually want to give me his best? My doubt came in forms of "surface level" sin like jealousy, bitterness, and anxiety over little things - and I can now trace all of those things down to me not holding on to God's promises of goodness, love, and his perfect timing. Recently he has been reassuring me of his provision (Psalm 34:8, Philippians 1:6), but the devil really knew what areas of my life I was not believing God in and was really good at getting me down. Now, I am so glad that I can rest in the fact that the Lord is good and that as his daughter I can be confident that he is jealous for me, lavishes his love and grace on me, and wants to give me the best. And by best - I know that does not necessarily mean financial wealth, comfortable living, or success by the world's standards - but that he will bless me by knowing him better and giving me things that will help me love him more and further his kingdom as I seek him because he is all I need (Psalm 63). A lot of that came around Easter when he reminded me of the incredibleness of the gospel and the love that was shown to us (John 17:25-26)...
I have been learning so much about God's character though studying his word lately and talking with other believers - it's so incredible! I am really enjoying this month of not having a lot to do (I'm through with school and I do not leave for RO until June 8). It is allowing me to spend a lot of quality time with people I love and have refreshing time with Jesus after a stressful semester! Speaking of Romania and June 8 - yes, that is 3 WEEKS away! I cannot express how excited I am to go back and serve the Lord there! I'll be there from June 8 to August 10, oh man, God is SO good!
P.S. Please pray for this summer in Romania, the 500 kids we will see throughout the 7 weeks of camps, the 7 other interns and me, the Romanian volunteers, and the Livada staff!
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